In the last post, I gave you the details of what losers say when they face the big fear - commitment! But this happens way after the girl starts feeling something for the loser... so, this post is for the girls who are confused about whether a guy is a loser or not... here goes...
Identifying loser kind 1 - look out for a definite warning sign - difference in behavior in private and public spaces! Does he call you up at odd hours to talk about nothing but doesn't seem interested to talk while you two are with friends? Does he say nice things only when no one's listening? Does he seem to care when only you two are communicating and does not seem to care when others are present?
Watch out girls, the 'just friends' phrase is perhaps on its way!!!
Identifying loser kind 2 - this is easier to identify - if all you hear is about his lost love and its 'sad, sad ending', you had better start seeing other guys! Most likely, he just wants a nurse to put ointment on his bruises, and you sure don't want your part in the play as Florence Nightingale!!!
Identifying loser kind 3 - this is the easiest - these morons actually advertise their moronic selves!
However, I repeat what I said in my last post - things may seem quite bleak, but there still are the ones who don't classify into any of these categories (and this is from my experience too)! Girls, I insist, get out and find these guys - they deserve only the best - they deserve you!
The next big question - how do you identify the losers
Quotable Quotes of the Quotable Losers!
Warning: this may seem like I am super frustrated, perhaps I am, but every single detail of this account is true... and it is because of this, I am telling all you guys beforehand - this is not about all of you, but about all the losers that give your species a bad name!
Loser kind 1: "I thought of you only as a friend"
Oh, no, you didn't! Do you call up your just friend at the middle of the night to tell them why you are feeling sad? Do you talk to your just friend for hours about nothing? Do you go to meet your just friend at an unearthly hour to an unknown place bcoz you did not meet them for a few days? I think not... does the loser do the same with his other guy 'friends', I think not!
Girls, beware, these 'just friends' are the worst of the lot!
Loser kind 2: "I can't have a relationship bcoz I am unable to forget my first love"
This super moron led you on while you were interacting, behaving as if you were his only hope and then just as you begin to feel something different, he comes to this conclusion. Why was he unable to continue with the previous relationship? He will give you reasons like 'she was too career-focused' or 'she was from a different religion'... if you probe deeper, you would know that the reality is quite different - she saw thru the loser and left him!
Loser kind 3: "I don't believe in love"
Girls don't even try to rectify these individuals. Don't let Hindi movies inspire you to think that these are actually lost souls who need a direction. They do believe what they say, and no amount of your coaxing or caring would change them a bit. What actually happens is you lose your precious time and energy over these individuals who don't even want it!
If you come across any of these specimens, just run, not towards them, but in the opposite direction! And don't nurse a broken heart for these guys, they are not even worth your heels, let alone your heart!
Sounds too frustrating? Well, there are losers out there and you better be beware of them! However, the silver lining is that there are guys out there who do not match with any of these descriptions - and thank God for that! Girls, get rid of the losers, get out of your shell, find these winners (too bad, that they are the rare species) and when you do, fight tooth and nail to win them over for yourselves!
heart's ramblings...
What is your idea of your ideal match? Or who is your ideal match? Or how do you visualize your ideal match? Well, you sure have heard that one, at least once! (I have heard it just about a few thousands of times, I guess). And I also have the ‘bad’ habit of asking this question to people I know! It’s irritating, even I acknowledge that, but it’s just too interesting, and therefore too irresistible!
There’s always this phase of fantasy – the time when every girl is waiting for a knight in shining armor and every guy is waiting for a princess as delicate as a flower petal or as charming as a moonbeam. This is time we dream of a man with qualities like chivalry, honor, valor, strength, honesty, etc, etc or a woman who can be described with adjectives like beauty, virtue, innocence, intelligence, et al.
And then inevitably comes the phase of first love – the magic begins. It usually begins in school, at least mine did. Felt as if I was the only one who has ever experienced something as exquisite as love. A few glances, holding hands, exchange of silly things and loads of dreams (an overdose of fantasies and fairy tales do have that sort of an outcome)!
You will often hear that you never forget your first love. Well, I have. My opinion - that is what happens with time. Or maybe I am just an unfeeling monster!
After the fading away of this phase of the all too famous, or infamous, first love comes a stage of disbelief. You find that all guys (don’t take offense guys, it’s just the same for you) are just disgusting. They are never to be trusted. This usually is a repercussion of the ‘lost love’ situation you face.
After you have fumed and vented a lot, you feel that this is how every love story ends – in tragedy. Life seems all too like ‘Roman Holiday’ where Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn may romance for the entire movie but have to part at the end. Tragedy seems to be what we are all cut out for.
Next is another hurdle – you fall for guys (or gals) who have no interest in you. And the ones that fall for you are not worth the effort. The world seems to be a miserable place to live in and love is just a silly fantasy that exists in mills and boon novels. You are sure that you are going to die an old maid (or man) without a companion.
It is only after you mature you understand what love means to you. It’s relative. And it’s not about Prince Charming or Princess Cinderella. No one is sure what his /her ideal match is until he or she meets the person. You may have vague ideas but the truth can be just the opposite.
Once you are in love you are sure to understand that it is not about how handsome he is (or how pretty she is) or about qualities that define a hero or a heroine. It is all about the feeling of completeness… how you feel when you are with him… how you share your worlds… and how you create an world of your own...
Misadventure - of sorts
Spontaneity - yes, that's one of my traits (whether its positive or negative I have no idea though)! It can lead to good, and yeah, I'm talking about serious good, or it can lead you to trouble.
Its not only my thoughts that have the habit of wandering, I wander about a lot too. And of late, these ramblings have increased quite a bit. One such took me to Junput, a small fishing hamlet tucked on the coast of Bay of Bengal. At least this was what the websites advertised.
I should have known better - it is people like me who write for those sites, people who have never visited the destination but use up all possible adjectives to describe it, people who have no idea about the place at all. But we were silly enough to believe them. That was a serious mistake.
We went to Kanthi via bus (took about 3 hours) and took a van. Then it was another 40 minutes bus journey to our destination. When we finally reached the place... well I have no words to describe it... all my writing skills fail here! No I'm not searching for adjectives like mesmerizing or stunning or wonderful or any such.
It was horrid, yeah, that's the right word, horrid. It was a small village full of fishermen. We asked them about the 'beautiful' beach. They showed us an endless stretch of mud that led to something on the horizon. There was no way we could reach that far and come back too!
We rested under some trees for about half an hour and came back - yes, the whole 3 hours and 45 minutes trip back to Kolkata. A misadventure - and all credit goes to my community, that of content writers.
Loss of a friend...
Part of childhood's gone... with the demise of Goopi Gyne (Tapen Chatterjee, in the real world), an episode comes to an end. Perhaps he is happier where he is now, far from this world which never gave him credit enough. And with his best friend Bagha. In an interview Goopi had remarked that a school student had asked him inside a tram "Apni tram'e keno? Apni to haat'e tali dilei pouche jaben?" (Why do you use the tram? You could go anywhere with a clap) And he had answered, "Se to thik'i, kintu Bagha'ke chara to haat'e tali diye labh nei" (That's so true, but without Bagha, the clap's of no use). This was after the death of Robi Ghosh.
Don't mind all you Satyajit Ray fans, I am one of the same brethren! But its true that Goopi and Bagha (on celluloid) deserve the same honor as their creator (Upendrakishore Roychoudhary as well as Satyajit Ray). It was Ray's genius that transformed the book into a feature film but how could he have accomplished the task without the perfect Goopi and Bagha.
Remember Goopi's expression when Bagha said that they could marry a princess with the help of the three boons? Or the way he reacted when he heard himself singing 'in tune' for the first time? These small details went to form a big part of my childhood, and I'm sure many others' childhoods' too.
I would pray for my dear friend Goopi today! He was one of my 'bestest' (plz do forgive my English) buddies assuring me throughout my childhood about how good always wins at the end, how happiness is not about riches but about what you love, what goodness means. And I would know what to ask 'Bhooter Raja', thanks to these friends of mine!
